Stay home

I like to stay at home, relax and do my own stuffs. But every time I do this, I will end up thinking too much on certain stuffs. From staring at this screen to staring into space. Then my mind will be so confused with all the stuffs that I'm thinking about. Why, I thought to myself.. I will think of every thing. I'm very random so the things that I'm thinking will be jumping here and there. From happy times to fucked up shits. Then I'll start to think about those shits but part of me will still tell me that it's alright, it's okay, learn from all those shits but another part of me doesn't. Very contradicting but I don't think anybody can understand it. Cos even myself don't understands. Stupid how stupid can I be. Sucha fool too. Am i beginning to get smarter now? :/